... but tornadoes do. And the rain in Spain falls mainly on the Isle of Wight. At least, I think I'm still on the Isle of Wight. I could be mistaken and be on a trans-Atlantic liner battling through the waves instead, such is the ferocity of the sheets of rain lashing the window. No. Thought not. Definitely still on the Isle of Wight. Not a cocktail waiter in sight and the sea has merged with the grey sky.

Anyway, just the thing to get me in the mood to make a draught excluder for the back door, I thought, flushed with the success of a hop pillow that may or may not do its job.

But I want a dog, not a snake. And I can't find a pattern. So I've drawn one. And it looks like a rabbit's head stuck on a snake's body with a shark's fin on its back. And it's cross-eyed.

I keep telling myself to get a life - it doesn't matter what it looks like as long as it excludes the draught.

But it does .... so there goes my afternoon.